Cheating and adultery are sins, but what if you’re not physically taking action, just simply watching it? Watching porn is taboo for public discussion, but it’s essential to understand that it’s OK to ask for and seek help whether you’ve done it once or frequently because, yes, watching porn is a sin.
Why You May Ask If Watching Porn is a Sin for Christians
You may feel guilty after watching porn and wonder why. You may even ask yourself if what you are doing is wrong and ask God for guidance.
Ways to know something might be a sin:
- You aren’t sure if what you’re doing is wrong.
- You have feelings of guilt and shame.
- You find an excuse to continue even though you don’t feel right about it.
- You hurt yourself and those you love.
- You think you have an addiction because you want to stop, but you can’t.
Why Asking, ‘Is Watching Porn a Sin?,’ Doesn’t Help
If you clicked on this article looking for a long list of Bible verses denouncing the evils of pornography, you’re going to leave disappointed. Most Christians already know and agree that watching pornography is a sin. So, why does the question come up?
There are two main reasons someone questions whether watching porn is a sin. First, a woman discovers her husband has been watching porn and looks for Scripture and moral guidance to set them on the right path. Second, a man who’s struggling with porn addiction may ask the question as a way to cope with their overwhelming feelings of shame.
Shame is why this question about whether porn counts as a sin doesn’t lead to a productive conversation. Quoting Scripture to a man already struggling with shame may make them withdraw further.
Yes, watching porn is a sin, but being addicted to something is not. Telling an alcoholic that their drinking is sinful isn’t enough to make them stop drinking. Whether it’s substance abuse or pornography, we must treat addiction as an illness with a root cause that requires professional help to uncover and heal. We can use Scripture as a way to discern God’s heart around sin and for sinners (humans). Through careful study, we will find that God hates sin and its destructive effects, and his heart is to bring healing and wholeness to the broken places in our world.
Why Watching Porn is a Sin
Matt Wenger, Clinical Director at Boulder Recovery, said watching porn is a sin for many reasons, including what it does to the viewer, their partner, and society.
“It dehumanizes those depicted in it and makes it much more likely that its users will objectify others,” he said.
In addition, Matt explained that pornography “perpetuates a worldwide culture of human sexualization, in which it is acceptable to view humans as objects of sexual desire and not people.” He said this view results in crimes like human trafficking.
“Using porn is not a ‘victimless crime,’” he said. “Using pornography perpetuates harm against the innocent and is out of line with God’s character.”
Matt warns that watching porn can hurt your partners and damage your marriage or relationship.
“The user of porn can become emotionally unavailable to their partner (as they are numbed out in addiction), sexually disconnected, and cause deep emotional and psychological damage through the repeated betrayals of discovering the use of porn. Not to mention lying and gaslighting to cover it up,” he said.
Not only is it harmful to your partner, but Matt goes on to say that pornography use is harmful and damaging to the individual viewing it.
How watching porn can harm you:
- Increased isolation from others
- Leads to addiction
- Inaccurate portrayal of relationships and sex
- Gives you negative feelings about yourself
- Degrades women or yourself
- Breaking relationship agreements
Pornography and the Biblical Connection to Lust
Pornography itself isn’t mentioned anywhere in the Bible. So, Matt said, it’s most often connected to the sin of lust.
Jesus says in Matthew 5:27:
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (ESV).
Matt said Jesus is responding to a culture that is more concerned with the letter of the law than their hearts. Jesus is communicating that your heart matters to God, Matt noted.
“The mistake that is often made is that Christians take Jesus’ comment on the letter of the law to make a NEW letter of the law that lust = adultery. Which, of course, it is not,” Matt said. “Lust and adultery are serious sins, and they are not the same. But this does not let lust off the hook.”
Lust is the desire to have something that doesn’t belong to you, Matt explained. It’s a sin of the heart and a lack of trust in God.
“It’s an indication that we do not trust that God has our best in mind or knows what is best for us,” he said. “Lust is a violation of trust in God. It says, ‘not only is that thing desirable, but I want it for myself, regardless of consequence.’”
While lust and adultery aren’t the same, they’re still both sinful, Matt pointed out.
“God wants our hearts, not just our obedience,” he said. “So we can say that pornography is a sin because it violates the character of God as someone who gives us what we need.”
On a deeper level, porn is a sin because it violates a person’s belief in God and doctrine.
“As image bearers of God (Genesis 1:26), we were designed to live in relationship with God and others in this way also. Porn develops and forms (literally in the brain) a new way of relating to others that imitates intimacy without any of its true vibrance,” Matt explained. “This formation moves us further from true intimacy with ourselves and others.”
Why Do Men Watch Porn?
People toss out platitudes like “boys will be boys” or “men can’t control their hormones” as explanations for frequent pornography use by men. Statistics seem to support these conclusions, with sex researchers estimating nearly all men have viewed porn at least once and multiple Christian groups conducting surveys showing almost two-thirds of Christian men use porn regularly.
But the truth about porn is a bit more complicated. Yes, men’s brains respond to visual and sexual stimuli. After all, arousal is a biological process designed by God to encourage the building of families and the enjoyment of sex within marriage. The problem is men’s brains aren’t wired to handle the overabundance of sexual stimuli just a click away on their phones or laptops. The ease of access and relative privacy make pornography an easy way for men to escape from the pressures of everyday life or, in many cases of porn addiction, cope with unresolved trauma.
For many men, regular porn viewing isn’t about sexual desire as much as trying to fill an emotional void. Porn releases dopamine in the brain. Dopamine is a neurochemical part of the brain’s reward system that boosts mood and feelings of pleasure and satisfaction. Men with unresolved trauma often turn to porn’s quick feel-good dopamine burst as a coping mechanism. This is absolutely not a justification for such behavior but rather an explanation.
How Does Porn Become Addictive?
Over time, frequent pornography use rewires men’s brains. Once you’ve activated the brain’s reward center and started releasing dopamine, the brain encourages you to repeat the behavior to release more dopamine. In the same way your body adjusts to a warm bath requiring you to keep increasing the water temperature, the brain adjusts dopamine regulation to your porn viewing. As you view more porn, you’ll find you have to start watching longer or more intense videos to get the same level of satisfaction.
Christian men can be even more susceptible to the toxic nature of this cycle. Most Christian men know pornography is a sin and feel extreme guilt and shame about their behavior. Not only do they feel like they’re letting themselves down, they often feel they’re failing their spouses, families, and God. The intense shame drives them deeper into a porn addiction as they look for a way to cope with their emotions.
How Will I Know If I’m Addicted to Porn?
If you think you are trapped in the cycle of porn addiction, look for these common signs:
- You think about porn all the time, even during other activities
- You want to stop watching porn but feel like you cannot
- You spend increasingly more time watching porn and frequently lose track of time
- You watch porn in inappropriate places like school or work
- You hide your porn viewing habit from those closest to you
- You neglect important professional, school, or family responsibilities to watch porn
- Sex with a partner is no longer satisfying
- You feel ashamed by porn viewing, but continue anyway
- You continue to watch porn even though you know it bothers your spouse
- You spend a large amount of money buying porn
- You feel the need to watch more extreme porn to get the same feeling
Still uncertain? Take our porn addiction quiz.
Seeking Help for Pornography Addiction
If you watch porn and feel shame or it’s affecting your life and relationships, seeking help can positively impact your life. There are ways to heal from pornography addiction, and by working with God, you can get your life back. Remember these steps when approaching your healing journey.
Recognize the Problem
Becoming aware of how your actions affect you and those around you can help you admit that you have a problem. Then you can consider seeking help from a licensed professional.
Commit to Recovery
To succeed, you must give 100% to your recovery process. Put your heart and soul into giving up your bad habits and creating the life you desire. When you feel weak, pray and talk with someone, like a friend or church member.
Get Professional Help
Finding the right porn addiction treatment plan and therapist is crucial to your success in healing from pornography addiction. You need someone who can understand and respect your beliefs and help you live accordingly.
Renew Your Faith
Make a plan with God to renew your Christian walk and start living the life he has planned for you. Asking for forgiveness is a key part of faith, after all! Reinvigorating your spiritual life can help you overcome obstacles that may arise, and having God as a support line can help.
How Begin Again Institute Can Help
Begin Again Institute offers our Boulder Recovery 14-day Christian Men’s Intensive that focuses on helping men overcome their sex or pornography addiction and heal intimacy wounds while following their Christian faith. The Christian intensive can help you recover from pornography addiction, accept forgiveness, and restore your authentic relationship with the Creator. Contact us to learn more about how we can help you.
